I've always liked the song Broken Home..but I could never relate to it, and that made me happy. my parents never fought, they did things together, and loved me and my sister as much as they could my whole life. they've been married 35½ years. I found out 2 days ago that they're splitting up. it's the most random thing ever and I can't understand what has gotten into my mom. I feel like I don't even know her anymore. Apparently she's felt this way basically 'forever' and my sister has "known since she was 5" but me and my dad had no idea that she felt unhappy. how does that even work? I've been freaking out lately because of it, and my mom has no compassion for me and can't understand why it upsets me. maybe it wouldn't have upset me as much if I saw any of it coming...if they fought all the time, or never talked to each other, or hit each other or something........but they just went to a concert together last week. they went to the renaissance fair with me and my fiancee last month and we had fun. I just really don't understand it. my mom got mad that my dad told me it was happening and I don't understand that either.....she's like a stranger all of a sudden. she and I were like best friends, I went to her for everything and told her all sorts of things..and she's just kinda shut off the last few days. I probably shouldn't be blogging about it, but whatever..I don't care...it's how I can cope..by talking about it, by hearing other people's experiences, by trying to understand. I can relate to Broken Home now. :(
but on the bright side, it's pushed me to get a new tattoo today. one I've been wanting for years..I just never had the perfect design for it or wanted other tattoos first. those of you who know me, know I love and collect pineapples, and I have my own domain luckypineapple.net. lucky pineapple has been my online name since 1998 [along with Busta, which didn't come along till 2003] so I felt like I really needed to get my lucky pineapple tattooed...I really need some luck right now. my family is falling apart, I don't have a job, I'm dealing with my diabetes and depression/anxiety, everything is just kinda effed up right now...so I needed some luck. it made me feel better [even tho my arm is stinging!! haha] and has been sort of therapy for me.