ugh.. last log in: 4 months ago??
omg. i can remember what i was thinking when i made this account. 'registered: 2 months ago. fuck, i want to get to the day when it will say 12 months' yeap, and now it does. and God i wanna go back to the days it said '2 months ago' :d i remember how my life sucked this time last year and how awesome it got after that. my life sucks pretty much right now [things are better than last yesr], but let's hope it'll get ever cooler than last year! HOPE HOPE HOPE!
ok i wanna look at this blog 4 months from now and remember how i felt and be like 'omg i've forgotten that! haha it wasn't that baad!' so let's get to the part when i say what's actually going on.
i'm, fucked up. i'm in a pretty serious relationship, i'm REALLY in love for the first time [like FOR REAL], things were going even more than great 1 month ago and now.. my super-cool-pseudo-best-friend is kinda, i'm not quite sure, but like idk HITTING? on my boyfriend, and He, my very first true love of life and blah-blah, is asking for some SPACE and somehow the BITCH appears to be one of his closest friends. do i'm like 'shut the fuck up, don't make a scene, you trust him, the whore is not gonna get to you, act like you don't care and she's nobody and your relationship is so strong that it's FUNNY that anyone can come between you..' FUCK! IT'S NOT OK!! it really SUCKS to be REJECTED after like 9 months of SWEARING TO LOVE someone.
i can't feel like this all the time. so insecure and aggressive and hurt and.. i need this to end.
let go. you'll get trough it. you're stronger than this. yet- blah blah.
if i've learned something it's: my best friends are right here beside me and they'd never leave or betray me. love is NEVER enough, there are things like expressing emotions, showing how you feel, proving it's true..
i feel so betrayed and so alone. for a moment i had it all- great friends, great relationship, all my dreams came true, so much luck in everything. nah, screw it, screw it all! cause nothing matters if i don't have him!
ok i feel dead and so sleepy. this blog is absolutely pointless just writing some emotions and then deleting them. yet that's the small part of it that really made some sense. so if you've wasted your time with it- please, thumbs up, hope things are gonna get better! pray for me if you want.
keep in tough to tell you if you've prayed enough. :d