New Year, a little lost

Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 10:32 PM By: Ferrettrix

It's a new year and I don't know what to do......*sigh*. Everything's been turned upside down on me...my big brother's dead...I bombed all of my finals last quarter b/c he died right b/f them...I may lose my full-ride scholarship if I can't bring my grades back up. I've never had problems w/ grades and I was doing fine last quarter until Eric died..then the bombed finals tanked my GPA. I can't stop thinking about him everyday....I miss him so much....no one seems to understand. People don't know what it's like to have all hope ripped away from you after 3 days of waiting for some good sign and then having to watch as someone you love dies right in front of you....they just don't understand how much this hurts, how lost I feel....It's been over a month since he died and it still doesn't seem real...when someone would come to the door, I kept thinking it was him coming home. Now I'm back at school and everyone else is going on with their lives and mine feels like it's on pause waiting for him to come back and tell me it was all a lie...don't know what to do anymore..can't stop the hurting...sorry to seem so whiny y'all....just feeling really down right now, can't get him off my mind. Peace.

  1. Ferrettrix avatar

    On Jan 17, Ferrettrix said:

    Thanks so much....it's been a rough time for sure. Now my step-father's in a rare form of rejection w/ his lungs (he had a double-lung transplant yrs ago), so the drama continues. Just keep holdin' on, that's all we can do and hope for the best in this situation and for Eric, gotta keep his memory alive. Still working on justice for him, but it's not looking promising. Thanks again. Peace.

  2. billyrock avatar

    On Jan 09, billyrock said:

    I wish you and your family the best. You have gone through the biggest tragedy of your life with out time to heal. If that is even possible. This is such a tragic situation and it doesn't help having to continue on life as if its business as usual. I am so sorry for the loss of Eric. Your story has touched me, I have shed tears for you and Eric. I wish there was something I could say or do to make life better for you.
    Just stay strong when you can and let Eric help you through this. May God, your family and friends help you during this time. My thoughts are with you, my best to you during these difficult days.
    Live, Love, and fight!!!

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