New Year, a little lost
It's a new year and I don't know what to do......*sigh*. Everything's been turned upside down on me...my big brother's dead...I bombed all of my finals last quarter b/c he died right b/f them...I may lose my full-ride scholarship if I can't bring my grades back up. I've never had problems w/ grades and I was doing fine last quarter until Eric died..then the bombed finals tanked my GPA. I can't stop thinking about him everyday....I miss him so much....no one seems to understand. People don't know what it's like to have all hope ripped away from you after 3 days of waiting for some good sign and then having to watch as someone you love dies right in front of you....they just don't understand how much this hurts, how lost I feel....It's been over a month since he died and it still doesn't seem real...when someone would come to the door, I kept thinking it was him coming home. Now I'm back at school and everyone else is going on with their lives and mine feels like it's on pause waiting for him to come back and tell me it was all a lie...don't know what to do anymore..can't stop the hurting...sorry to seem so whiny y'all....just feeling really down right now, can't get him off my mind. Peace.