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When you really miss someone and you remember all the good times you had and you want to go back and relive those days even though you'd be stupid to turn around and return down the path you've just taken. I thought I'd turned all feelings for someone off but recently I know in the back of my mind I haven't. I guess there's some people even if you move on you'll never truly get over or you can't help but feeling like that person's missing from your life...

He was my best friend. I could talk to him about anything and everything, could share a part of me I never share with anyone. We share some of the same interests, we had a laugh... Yet it all ended up in tears... But I can forget all the crap that went down afterward and I intend to.

I mean we all make mistakes, we all do things we think are right at the time and when we look back over we think we did the wrong thing or took the wrong direction. A lot of my friends on here know what happened a year ago. How I went from being so happy to someone ripping my heart out. The first time I got my heart broken there was nothing worse and it just helped kick me down to somewhere I probably was already heading. This time though I thought I got over it fantastically well. A few week later it was like nothing had happened to me. When he told me what he thought of me out of anger it didn't even sink in. Now after a good, adult chat I've learnt it wasn't my fault and to stop blaming myself but I don't think I can cos everybody I've been out with has set out to hurt me in some way.

I just feel like I'm not good enough for anyone even though I've never stepped a foot out of line, I've never lead anyone up the garden path, I've never set out to hurt anyone. I'm a normal (well..) nice person who's got a lot of love to give and sometimes I don't think people see that. I don't know what I do that makes people hurt me. May be I have doormat tattooed across my forehead or something.

Sorry for the depressiveness... If I didn't get out how I feel I'd never clear my head
:/ x