he died because of me...

Sun, Jul 31, 2011 at 9:58 PM By: little[R]oach93

everyone tells me that its not my fault and that there was nothing i could have done to prevent it.... but i could have. i should have talked to him about things..... but i didnt. i didnt because i knew that he wouldnt believe me. so yea. there wasnt much i could do. so i hid things from him and did things i shouldnt have. i started flirting with one of his friends.... the one that we hung out with seriously e v e r y day!!!! he was nice to me and listened to me. he tried to help me with my problems..... he made me happy. my bf just started ignoring me more.... and it seemed like he didnt love me anymore :( so one day me and my bf had a big fight over nothing!!! he got really really pissed at me for no reason. so that night when we were hanging out in his room (with his friend) i started texting his friend. and at one point i kissed him. not making out just a kiss. then a couple days later my bf took my phone from me, which i fought him for and he got physical with me, and he read the texts and knew we kissed..... i felt terrible. beyond terrible..... i was bawling and he was crying. i knew i hurt him and it hurt me..... i wanted to die. i tried to kill myself and ended up cutting my leg, pretty bad. but i went home that night and thought about it.... and i decided that i didnt wanna be with him anymore. i wanted to be with his friend.... so i tried to tell him that.... a first he was mad then the next couple days he was sad and tried to get me back. but ended up telling me that if i hung out with his friend then we were over. so i told him i was. and he said ok then i want my stuff back monday.... so we did that and i honestly thought he was ok with it then. he told me that he didnt want me to cry anymore. but he didnt wanna see me anymore bc it hurt too much, which i understand. but he lived right next to me. so it was unavoidable.... i still just cant believe he did it.... :(((

  1. ~Little Red~ avatar

    On Aug 01, ~Little Red~ said:

    thats terrible! im so sorry!

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