Something happened Last night, I still don't understand, I really thought I was about to die
So I just returned back since Uni kicks us out at easter. First night back and something happens to me, and I have never EVER felt so scared as I did. At first I actually thought there was a demon in the room (maybe why I was asking for the ‘lord’), I’m not really a religious person but It felt like the right thing to do at the time. Yeah I was pretty delirious, didn’t sleep that night, I had to put a chick flick on (legally blonde 2) and keep the light on, until I finally felt ‘secure’. I’m posting this to see if anyone knows what the hell it may have been, It wasn’t a dream, my friend keeps banging on about how she thinks it may have been a panic attack.
Below is what I wrote when I was finally able to stop shaking (as much), I hoped that in writing what I felt down I’d feel calmer.
In the darkness I lay, thinking about tomorrow; my hands above my head as I lay in silence. Suddenly my body froze up. Above me a black cold figure stood over me, hovering above my legs. I can only describe this as pure stricken fear; I have never been so petrified. It was at that point where I wanted to get up and think it was just my mind playing tricks. However I couldn’t move. Dark streams of air held down my arms that tried to flail about in fear. My legs and lower body; all paralysed, I was mentally and physically trying to will my arms to move. It got worse, I tried to move my mouth to scream for help. I couldn’t talk or even move my jaw. Words popped into my head; ‘in the name of god, leave me alone.’ I thought this over and over, trying to get the words to form. It was when I tried to shout this out that my mouth felt like it had been forced shut with invisible and unfeelable-ducktape. My face felt like glass, movement being a difficult issue. The more I struggled the harder it was for me to breathe. My arms and legs pinned and now I couldn’t breathe. I tried shouting for Zoe (my sister on the bed above) in one last attempt; It felt like my last chance. My mind and heart were screaming in unison ‘in the name of god leave me alone’ repeatedly. My mind seemed to be struggling to think it. Then in what I thought was a scream came out as a very quiet whisper “In the name of God, leave me alone.” I struggled through gasps but then it was gone. The dim light was back, the sound of my sister snoring and the hamster chewing on its cage. The pressure on my arms gone, and I could finally move. I scanned my surroundings in the darkness, it wasn’t a dream I know that much, I was awake. The shape of a helium birthday balloon floating around softly caught my attention, it is only now after I have turned the light on that I realise there is no balloon. The light is staying on and so is the music. I’m still shaking, my arms are aching and feel heavy. I don’t think I will sleep well. I’m hoping that if I write this down I’ll calm down a little and see the realisation of it all.
My sister is moving in her sleep and the hamster loud. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I know I do not like it. I really thought I was about to die.
Yeah I realise this sounds like a lame short story but it’s how I write ^_^
I’m still freaked out about it and don’t feel comfortable being in this bedroom, any ideas people. (Please don’t say i’m going mad, well madder