Death in it's most hideous form.
Nana is about ready to kill somone. It's the time of the month and everyone has to fuck with her. First off, I haven't done anything! Nothing! All my novelstars classes are fucked! Completely. They have me in the exact same classes as last year and I know I passed all of them, ask Mrs. Taylor, damn. e_e; Then, they switch my afternoon classes all up. I'm in study hall(by my own choosing actually) and fucking P.E. I hate that class! Plus, I have a hurt toe here! So, whatever, I went to my damn class and the second B isn't there everyone surrounds me and asks these stupid ass questions! Like, 'Are you a lesbian? Is that blue haired chick your girlfriend?' e_e B has blue hair. I swear, these fucking people get on my damn nerves! It's always been like this to. I've always been accused of dating my best friend. Gawh. Just because I'm Bi does not mean I like every girl on the damn planet! Then, some other guy asked the exact same thing. I said no of course so, then he asked, 'You like Shea?' Cause everyone decided to sign my arm today, so he reads my arms and I'm like, 'no' to everyone of them. Then he said 'jacob' and I'm like, 'What? No?' There isn't a Jacob at our school. B signed Jacoby name and I guess someone didn't see the fucking Y! Gawwwwd!! I hate the fucking new teacher. I want Mrs.Taylor!!! And I want my school back! We're an alternative school pretending to be a real one! We even have ess now! Can you believe that shit? It was perfect last year! Now we have to take stupid ass notes and shit. I planned on being a senior by the end of the year! I can't at the rate I'm going! I don't even have any of my classes!!! >_< God, they've pissed me the fuck off! Oh! And they're making B pay tuition, which her mother won't pay. So, she has to switch schools now. I'm alone, again. Imagine that. Then, I saw that damn pickah and it made me feel stupid again. >_<
Whatever. I think I should go an a fucking murder-suicide. End my pain and a lot of other mother fuckers pain as well. You think anyone in this town is truely happy? No! Oh, and as for love. It's not real! I hope my mother finally gives up. If you didn't read my last blog, my mother went out really late one night. She came back and said that she wasn't going to his house again cause all he wanted was some girl to fuck around with and that was it. That's all anyone wants! Marriage, what the fuck ever. The biggest lie I've ever heard is 'I love you'. It's not real! It's not a real emotion. If I don't feel it or see it, it's not there. Just like God or whatever. Not real either! WE just die and that's it. There is nothing after that. Just eternal sleep. And that's what I want.
Why should I wait?
I'll just be forgotten again. I don't want to stay in world filled with greed and hate. Would you? I mean, even if I were accepted and had people who cared. What would it matter in death? We're all forgotten. There is no endless fame. All I ever try to do is help people. Well, you know what? I'm sick of it! Tired of this bullshit I deal with everyday nonstop. It's just pointless now. Everyone leaves me in the end.
No one will ever care enough to stay with me.
Never. Just try and tell me I'm wrong.