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And here it goes again...
Depression hits like an earthquake...Vicious and with no warning.
It's a repeat of what I tried to run away from.
Losing the ones I love, failing in school, and having nothing in my life to make the mood any better.
I try as hard as possible to not go back to the past....To not go back to how I coped with my issues.
The razors call out my name... They try to lure my back in...
I blast the music to try and get the voices away, but it's not working as well as it used to.
The voices are breaking through the sound barrier I try to put up.
'I can't go back....I just can't...'
I swore to myself that I was better than that.... But what if I'm not...?
This isn't the first time that I came close to a relapse.....And in some situations I did in fact give in...
Some people think that self mutilation isn't an addiction.... That most people do it for the 'attention' they get.
But trust me...If thats the only way you're used to to cope with your issues, then it's as addicting as any alcohol or drug.
When you're this down, you feel as if that's the only way to subdue the pain you feel in your head/heart...
But I can't let it come to that again... I WON'T let it go back to that...
I need to find a way through this...


Emily G
1/7/10